Thursday, March 1, 2018

Ask for help already!

I am not an expert in asking for help.  In fact, I am horrible at it.  I will suffer and strain and fail continually rather than ask for help.  I do this for projects around the house and for thoughts in my head and for feelings in my heart.  I don't ask for help.

Internally, I see it as a failure; as a weakness and I don't want to be a failure or weak.

At least I'm not alone, right?

Asking something of another person can be humbling.  It's sometimes hard for people to say, "I can't do it alone."  It's hard to admit it.  It's embarrassing.  It opens a person up to judgement.

While all that might be true, asking for help is an opportunity.
Asking for help allows a person to first, fix the immediate issue whether it's a stuck bolt or community discussion, or trouble with your family.  If you need help with something, help might be the answer.
Asking for help also provides the opportunity to connect with another person and more connections are almost always better.
Asking for help allows us to learn.  We may learn about our problem, our helper, or ourselves.  What we learn may have nothing to do with the problem at hand but having a person to share with has unlimited potential for growth.

Asking for help is a way to make today a good day and making today a good day is easier with a little help.
All you have to do is ask

{Full disclosure - in public (like at work) I have no issues asking for help.  I want to provide the opportunity for people to help me and be more valuable.  I also feel I have an obligation to my employers not to waste time when help is available.}

Three questions

It's time to play a question and answer game.  The questions are easy but the answers might not be.  The answers can be powerful though.  They provide an opportunity for reflection and insight.

  • What was your best day ever?
  • What the easiest way for you to have a good day?
  • What has been good about today?

What was your best day ever?
The day my girlfriend agreed to be my wife was an AMAZING day.  So were the days my daughters were born.  I'd be hard pressed to decide which was the best. Before those days though. I'd have to go back twenty years to a midnight showing of Star Wars with my father but I'm not sure I recognized it as such when I was younger.

I expect that the answer to this question is pretty flexible for anyone under the age of 14 and becoming more stable after the age of 30.  I'm not sure where on what scale the answer would be in the teens and twenties; those can be tumultuous years.  Who knows if the longer you live the higher a chance for best days might occur because most of us settle down but where there is life there is a chance for incredible days.

Holding your best day in your mind and heart provides an anchor for each subsequent good day.

What the easiest way for you to have a good day?
Smiles make my days better.  Seeing people smile always lifts me up and the closer they are to my circle of people, the happier they make me.  Two strangers smiling at one end of a scale and my wife and kids at the other are my spectrum of instant happy.  I've found too that smiling myself is an instant boost to my mood and my day.

It might be a best friend, or a favorite food, or an activity but isn't it good to know that no matter how bad or good the day is, it can be better because of that one thing?

What has been good about today?
It's early in the day when I write this.  It's raining with a chance of snow later.  The sound of rain on the chimney cover is comforting.  I'm inside my warm house and a cup of coffee is close at hand.  The bed is made and laundry is going. For some, this might not be much of a day at all but for me, all those things are good.  Later, I'll go to work and help people accomplish things.  I'll smile at them and try to induce smiles back.

It's important not to let the days slip past without noticing them.  Looking for the good throughout the day will make it better.