A lists of lists

I love lists.  They clearly illuminate what's important.  Some lists are written down and some I just keep in my head.  They are changing all the time but always there.   Any day can be a good day with the correct application of the right list.

1. People - Make a list of the people in your life that make it special.  Then set some goals for making some of them part of each day.  It might be a phone call, or a postcard, or a chat.  If it's someone that's passed then it might be quiet time of reflection or prayer.
2. Food - We all have food that makes us feel better.  It might be comfort food or healthy food but knowing what snacks or food you want or need to make today a good day can make a good day.  Your grocery list or errand list should have "good day foods" on it.
3. Books - There are books I've read so many times they are like an old friend or a warm blanket.  I can open them up anywhere and know what's happened and what's going to happen.  They are instant good day makers.  You book list might have books you've read out loud to your kids.  It's not important if the books are picture, comic, self-help, or bodice-rippers; your book list will be yours.  Make sure you have the listed books on hand as needed.
4. Objects - Raindrops on roses, whiskers on kittens, bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens may be some of your favorite things.  You may have photographs of your family that bring you joy.  Perhaps the ashtray you made in shop class takes to you a place and time when all was good in the world.  Knowing what things make you happy is one step closer to being happy.
5. Activities - You may like doing things by yourself or with a friend.  Gardening or walking or doing puzzles or watching a movie may be your jam.  Whatever it is you like to do write it down in a list so you have a clear idea of what your best options are when you need a boost.
6. Tasks for the day - Write down what you want to do today.  Does it seem reasonable?  Do you need to move things to tomorrow?  Are they prioritized and optimized?  There should be things on that list that you enjoy.   Marking them off as you finish provides feelings of success.  Moving the things that are not completed to tomorrow's list is totally acceptable.
7. Goals - I once read that if you aim at nothing you are sure to hit it.  Naming what you want is a great reminder to do things that will help you reach the goal.  If you have "Be a world-class singer" on your list and you are not singing daily, you may need to revise your goal or do more to achieve it.
8. Bad-day makers - Have you ever made a list of things that are sure to trigger a bad day?  A list of things to avoid?  What would happen if you had that list in front of you every day?  You might make more of an effort to mitigate those things each day.  You might also work to remove them from your life entirely.  If you had a list and three of the items were work related you might be motivated to change jobs.

"Blockers", "root cause", "5 whys" and you

Sometimes things are in the way of a good day.  They might be big or small, or internal or external but they are preventing you from having the day you want.  Those are good day blockers.

When blockers occur, we can let them remain and stop us in our tracks or we can work to remove them.  We can take each one as it comes along and change the world or ourselves to make today a good day.  Once all the blockers are gone, the day will be good.

It's like a "Choose your own adventure" book:

What is preventing a good day?

     Blocker X is preventing a good day

Remove Blocker X

    Blocker X is fixed (yay!!)

    Oh no! 
Blocker Y is in the way now.
    Remove Blocker Y

    Blocker Y can't be unblocked because of Blocker Z.

         Remove Blocker Z

    Remove Blocker Y

No Blockers!!

Have a good day!

At some point, all the blockers will be removed (or you may discover that you were the blocker and you don't really want it removed) and you can go on with your good day.

Oftentimes the hardest part of removing blockers is recognizing them.  Sometimes what you think is the problem really isn't.  Trying to find the root cause of a blocker can be the hardest part of dealing with one.

Let's say you need to call a family member to make today a good day.  Maybe you need information or a favor.  Maybe you need an audio hug.  Your battery is dead though.  

Problem:  I need to talk but I cannot.

Cause: Phone is dead.

Is that the root cause or the immediate cause and what's the best way to fix the root cause?

We can use the "5 Whys*" to trace the problem and find solutions.  Simply ask "why?" at least five times at each level of the issue.

Why is my phone dead?

  "I didn't charge it last night".
Why didn't you charge it last night?

  "I was too tired to plug it in."
Why were you too tired?
  "I stayed up late watching TV?"

Why was watching TV more important than rest?
  "It wasn't.  I was just killing time."
Why were you not resting instead?

  "I have no good reason.  I should go to bed sooner."

In this scenario there are multiple places where the immediate problem could be fixed (bring a power pack, plug in the phone before TV, set a reminder to plug in phone) and we've identified a root cause.

Blockers are going to differ and finding the right "whys" to ask may not be natural; it may feel a bit odd.  The thing is that, if the Blocker isn't removed by what you have asked or what you have answered or if it returns, you can try different whys, receive different answers, and do something different.  Repeat as necessary.

Having trouble dealing with a family member or a co-worker or a stranger?  Ask why.

Not enjoying your job or how you spend your day?  Ask why.

Sad?  Ask why.

One last (important) thing!  Once we think we know the root cause of the blocker we are trying to remove so that we can have or make a good day?  We need to do whatever we discovered we need to do.  Doing is the most critical part of today being a good day.

*The "5 whys" system was developed by Toyota Motor Company back in the day.

On the road again

Traffic.
Ugh.
It's the worst, right?
The American Automotive Association reported that the average American spent 17,600 minutes a year driving.  Twelve days.  That's just the average.

Years go I lived in Houston, TX, the fourth largest city in America by population and a metro area bigger than New Jersey (but smaller than Massachusetts).  On a good traffic day, the commute to and from work was 45 minutes each way.  It was rarely a good traffic day.

More than once I found myself sitting in extreme heat in an extremely long line of cars; a line so long that I turned off the engine because I knew I wasn't moving for hours.  Sadly, more than once I thought to myself that there better be something up ahead to justify my wait; something like a really big accident and not some idiot making poor choices.

One day though, I recognized what I was doing.  I was wishing something bad on a stranger because I was inconvenienced.  More than a recognition, it was a realization.

I realized that traffic was preventing me from having a good day.  And, since I couldn't change the traffic, I would have to change myself.  I had to stop thinking negatively while waiting in the car.  I had to stop being frustrated by the wait,  More so, I had to do something to make it better for myself and for my fellow drivers.

I moved my harmonica into the car along with a bottle of soap bubbles.  When traffic stopped I'd tune the radio to some station playing music with space in between the notes and I'd fill them with music.  Or, if nothing was playing that I liked, I'd make my own music badly.  If the weather was good or the mood took me I'd open the sun roof and start blowing bubbles up and out.

Looking out the windows I'd see my fellow drivers looking in.  They'd be smiling or laughing or be trying to figure out what sort of lunatic was sharing the road with them.  I didn't mind the wait anymore either.  Sitting in the car was an opportunity to make today a good day.

Years later I added a red nose to my traffic kit.  I could now bring joy even when driving at normal speed.  Every stop light or stop sign I had the chance to draw out a smile or two.

Harmonicas, bubbles, and red noses aren't for everyone (but they could be for you . . have you tried?).  Anyone can find their thing though.  Your frustration may not even be traffic.

The first and second things you can do is identify your frustrations and decide that you are not going to be frustrated any longer.  Next do something about it!  The last thing thing might be trying to make whatever it is better for others.

The sound of music

Music is magic.  It can make a bad day good and a good day better.

"Let's start at the very beginning

A very good place to start

When you read you begin with A-B-C

When you sing you begin with do-re-mi"

Rodgers and Hammerstein's musical "The Sound of Music" was one of the four CDs my family bought when we first acquired a CD player.  Before that my sister and I used to play the Beatles "1962-1966" (Red album) every Saturday on the turntable during chores.

As far back as I can remember there has been music in my life.  Perhaps because I moved around as a child I use Top 40 songs as markers of where and when I lived in a certain place.  Music can take us to a place in our memories in ways no other thing can.

Years later, I moved in with that same sister and we'd sing home-made show-tunes about whatever we were doing.  After I was married and had children I would make up bed-time songs and bath-time ditties never thinking that more than TWO DECADES LATER(!) the kids would remember and sing them.  I look forward to hearing those songs sung to their children.

In my car I keep a harmonica.  If traffic is slow or stopped I'll often take it out and play along to some random station.  Sometimes I make up my own music.  I once played the shaker egg in a band.  I may not be good but I play with FEELING!  I've futzed with guitars, pianos, and even a didgeridoo without any success.

Music can be magical.  It can make any day a good one.  Music can take you away to someplace you want to be or focus you on where you are.  The music doesn't have to be great; you don't have to be great.  As long as it's good for you, it's good.

Make music
Sing songs
Listen to what you love
Go where people make it
Dance

You have a soundtrack.  It's changed over the years and will continue to evolve.  Purposefully creating it to make your "biopic" one you would want people to watch can be a big step to making today a good day.

Related music:

Do-Re-Mi - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jITsImZdlMQ

Michelle - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yrRLH-ZGZEs

Abracadabra - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QyoRzZrF00

Sound and Vision - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fRc2_-BCljQ

What is hip? - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1KCoX_dDBE

24k Magic - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UqyT8IEBkvY
Cupid Shuffle - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h24_zoqu4_Q

"Here" is a good place

I wonder where this is being read.

Are you at home?  On the couch?  In the bathroom?  At the kitchen table?

Are you at work?  Should you be paying attention to your job?  Are you in the bathroom?
Are you out and about running errands?  Are you waiting in line somewhere? 

No matter where you are . . there you are.

If it's sunny or rainy; if it's close or far from family; if it's where you want to be or not . . . where you are is where you are.  You are here.

Here is where you think good thoughts and do good things.  Here is where you smile and share and clean and teach and grow.  Here is where you cry when you need it.  Here is where you work and exercise.

The magic of here is that it's also now.  It's not "there" or "then" or "later". Here is the place that we live, day in and day out.  No matter where you go . . you are still here.  

"Here" is a place but it's also a state.  "Here" is being present to what you are doing and who you are with.  "Here" is where you are able to make today a good day.

It's good to make sure you are happy with where you are, with what you are doing.  If you're not where you want to be, it's a good time to discover why not and where that is and work on how to make that happen.

Today can be a good day no matter where you are; it will happen here.

Difficult times make for good lessons

I have some bad news
Not every day will be filled with rainbows and unicorns.

There will be times when things small and things significant will go wrong and they will make having a good day problematic.  Whether it's the dog escaping the yard or barking incessantly at the squirrels or whether it's the co-worker who won't stop talking and let you do your job, external frustrations happen.
Further, we all make mistakes and those self-driven events can contribute to making a good day worse too.  We aren't perfect at our jobs or with our friends and we screw our lives up.  Sometimes it seems our mistakes are near-catastrophic.

Have you ever noticed though, that we often learn good things about ourselves when things are hard?

We can learn how to avoid what caused the bad.
We can learn to prevent them.
We can learn to deal with them.
We can learn that we are not alone.
We can learn that they can be overcome or mitigated.

Opportunities to learn are hidden in the hard and the bad.  Looking for those lessons can make today a good (or better) day.

What makes up your bad things and struggles will be different from everyone else's and the lessons we learn will be different but the important thing is that we *look* for the lessons and take them to heart.

Bad days happen

Every day is not a good day.

Some days are so full of bad it's hard to think of anything but bad.

Some days are horribly tragic they seem to eclipse every past day and future day.

Death.

Death can make for a day apparently without goodness.  When we lose someone we knew, someone we loved; when we have a friend who's lost someone; when we hear of some celebrity or even a stranger, we know that lives have been changed.  We know that there is a community that is going to be left empty.  We know that their entire world is less bright.  We know that the grieving is just starting.  How can today be a good day without the deceased in it?

Lost love.

Lost love is almost like a little death.  A person that filled someone's heart is gone.  No matter if they're still around, there's an emptiness.  If they *are* still around, the emptiness can be even harder.  It's hard to imagine that today is a good day when you feel so alone.

Unplanned change.

When you lose a job; when you have to relocate; when life kicks you down when everything seemed to be going well . . . it sees like the world has tilted off its axis and everything is off. How can today be a good day when you don’t know what’s next?

Bad days happen.  The longer you live, the more bad days you will encounter and there is no easy answer to dealing with them.  We can look to the past for remembrances of better times and to the future for the expectation of good days but today may just be a bad day and we may just have to accept it.

Do your best.

It becomes better.

Bad days end.